down to the ground

[sienamystic]

I'm not really sure how much longer my coping faculties can hold out. Things are just...not really great right now. Bemo went into the ER last week because his tooth pain was getting out of control, and the bill for that one just arrived. Plus an ominous one from the regular dentist that I have to investigate, because it looks like what they're saying is that our dental insurance doesn't cover his procedure at all. Which means that we'll have to foot the entire bill for his next three visits to the endodontist to finish up his root canal. Or that we don't have dental insurance - which we do. I'm pretty sure turning off the cable is coming next, and after that, I'm not sure.

The computer's video card appears to be royally effed, which means a new motherboard.

Frankly, I'm trying really hard right now now to just dissolve into a crying, hysterical mess. It wouldn't do any good, but it would feel great. Actually, what I really want to do is just stop. Just not bother anymore. I think it's pretty fucking clear that we'll never be able to get a house of our own - I can barely put any money away from month to month. I'm just apparently not diciplined enough to cope with finances, but I'm the only one here that can do it, unless one of the cats goes out and gets an MBA. And I don't think I'm capable enough. I feel like I've made nothing but bad choices, and now I'm reaping the results.

Comments

[sienamystic.livejournal.com]

YES EXACTLY. It's like there's no time to just relax and take a deep breath without having to fret about something.