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sienamysticTitle: It's Only A Paper Moon
Rating: Gen
Characters: Hardison, Parker, Eliot
Disclaimer: Not mine, or I'd send them to steal me a big diamond and ruby necklace to wear around the house
Summary: Movie night for the kids!
Notes: Originally written as a Yuletide Treat
"I can't believe you've never seen this! I mean, it should be required viewing for any con artist. It's one of the ur-classics of our genre! It's like being an ice skater and never seeing Ice Castles." Hardison thrust a giant bowl of buttered popcorn at Parker and Eliot, who sat on the sofa a bit glumly. "You two have no sense of pride about your chosen profession."
"Seriously, did you really just say that? Do you hear the words that come out of you?"
Hardison ignored Eliot loftily and put in the DVD, addressing Parker as he did so. "Ryan O'Neal, Tatum O'Neal, and you already know about my thing for Madeline Kahn."
Parker looked back at him blankly, and Hardison gesticulated further. "Lily von Shtupp? 'Oh, it's twue. It's twue. It's twue, it's twue!'? Nothing? You people are sad and hopeless."
"Shut up and start the movie, Hardison."
It was a hit. Even Eliot was watching, and Parker's eyes were glued to the screen, although she was also mechanically eating popcorn, drawing the bowl aside whenever Eliot reached for it. They had to hit pause when Parker got giddy over Tatum O'Neal conning the shop clerk ("We have to make Sophie show us that one! How great is that?") and once when Eliot had a small quibble about the average speed of a Ford truck from that year, but otherwise they sat watching in rapt fascination.
The credits rolled, and Hardison smirked triumphantly. "Told you. I'm going to have to figure out a way to make that bible scam relevant for today. Be fun to bring an old warhorse back into service."
Eliot grunted, which was about all you ever really got by way of approval from Eliot most days. Parker, however, was wound up. She had an expression on her face Sophie liked to call Parker's "Let's Throw Ourselves Off A Roof" gleam.
"I've got the best idea!" She was beaming with excitement.
"What would that be, Parker? No, no no no no. Wait. I don't want to know."
"We need a kid! Think of how many other cons we could pull if we had a kid!"
Eliot had retreated behind a handy newspaper. "No kids, Parker."
Parker turned her best puppy-dog expression (which always made her look a trifle psychotic) on Hardison, who fell off the edge of the sofa in his effort to scoot backwards. "Nu-uh, Parker. Nate would not approve us getting a kid. They're expensive, they're frequently sticky, and they don't have lots of focus."
Parker scowled. "I had lots of focus when I was a kid. Do you know how difficult it is for an eight-year-old to get her hands on Asian Forest Scorpions without anybody noticing? Well, it took plenty of focus! Would a boy, or a girl be better? I think girl, girls in pigtails can get away with murder."
Hardison prayed she wasn't speaking from direct experience.
"You were not a typical kid," Eliot put in, still hiding behind the paper.
"You guys have no vision." She got up and huffed off, leaving popcorn crumbs and an empty bowl behind her. Eliot lowered his newspaper and fixed Hardison with a steely glare.
"If she shows up with a small girl in pigtails, you get to explain it to Nate." He flipped up his newspaper, leaving Hardison to pursue Parker out the door. "Parker? Parker? You weren't...you weren't really serious, right? Tell me you're not going to try...Parker? Parker?"
As his voice, now slightly shrill with panic, echoed down the hall, Eliot permitted himself a very tiny smirk.
Rating: Gen
Characters: Hardison, Parker, Eliot
Disclaimer: Not mine, or I'd send them to steal me a big diamond and ruby necklace to wear around the house
Summary: Movie night for the kids!
Notes: Originally written as a Yuletide Treat
"I can't believe you've never seen this! I mean, it should be required viewing for any con artist. It's one of the ur-classics of our genre! It's like being an ice skater and never seeing Ice Castles." Hardison thrust a giant bowl of buttered popcorn at Parker and Eliot, who sat on the sofa a bit glumly. "You two have no sense of pride about your chosen profession."
"Seriously, did you really just say that? Do you hear the words that come out of you?"
Hardison ignored Eliot loftily and put in the DVD, addressing Parker as he did so. "Ryan O'Neal, Tatum O'Neal, and you already know about my thing for Madeline Kahn."
Parker looked back at him blankly, and Hardison gesticulated further. "Lily von Shtupp? 'Oh, it's twue. It's twue. It's twue, it's twue!'? Nothing? You people are sad and hopeless."
"Shut up and start the movie, Hardison."
It was a hit. Even Eliot was watching, and Parker's eyes were glued to the screen, although she was also mechanically eating popcorn, drawing the bowl aside whenever Eliot reached for it. They had to hit pause when Parker got giddy over Tatum O'Neal conning the shop clerk ("We have to make Sophie show us that one! How great is that?") and once when Eliot had a small quibble about the average speed of a Ford truck from that year, but otherwise they sat watching in rapt fascination.
The credits rolled, and Hardison smirked triumphantly. "Told you. I'm going to have to figure out a way to make that bible scam relevant for today. Be fun to bring an old warhorse back into service."
Eliot grunted, which was about all you ever really got by way of approval from Eliot most days. Parker, however, was wound up. She had an expression on her face Sophie liked to call Parker's "Let's Throw Ourselves Off A Roof" gleam.
"I've got the best idea!" She was beaming with excitement.
"What would that be, Parker? No, no no no no. Wait. I don't want to know."
"We need a kid! Think of how many other cons we could pull if we had a kid!"
Eliot had retreated behind a handy newspaper. "No kids, Parker."
Parker turned her best puppy-dog expression (which always made her look a trifle psychotic) on Hardison, who fell off the edge of the sofa in his effort to scoot backwards. "Nu-uh, Parker. Nate would not approve us getting a kid. They're expensive, they're frequently sticky, and they don't have lots of focus."
Parker scowled. "I had lots of focus when I was a kid. Do you know how difficult it is for an eight-year-old to get her hands on Asian Forest Scorpions without anybody noticing? Well, it took plenty of focus! Would a boy, or a girl be better? I think girl, girls in pigtails can get away with murder."
Hardison prayed she wasn't speaking from direct experience.
"You were not a typical kid," Eliot put in, still hiding behind the paper.
"You guys have no vision." She got up and huffed off, leaving popcorn crumbs and an empty bowl behind her. Eliot lowered his newspaper and fixed Hardison with a steely glare.
"If she shows up with a small girl in pigtails, you get to explain it to Nate." He flipped up his newspaper, leaving Hardison to pursue Parker out the door. "Parker? Parker? You weren't...you weren't really serious, right? Tell me you're not going to try...Parker? Parker?"
As his voice, now slightly shrill with panic, echoed down the hall, Eliot permitted himself a very tiny smirk.
