The Kids in the Hall, once again, have my heart

Not the whole bike, just the back wheel. $65-85 to replace. All because I was careless and didn't secure the back wheel like I do with the front wheel. Nobody to blame but myself - and the MOTHERFUCKERS WHO STOLE MY WHEEL.

My poor bike looked like a wounded gazelle this morning, lying limply against the porch, the chain dangling in the dirt.