getting my head out of the way

Aikido last night and again tonight. I'm still very happy there in a way I haven't been in a long, long time. The sensai is a good blend - he insists on the basics of formality when they are called for, but also has a great sense of humor and is willing to joke around as well, which cuts the tension I might otherwise really be feeling because given encouragement, I get over-intense and then lock up.

Lots of work on basics, which is exactly what I need. My body remembers a lot, but it doesn't remember it perfectly by any means! I usually go, "that looks...vaguely familiar" but there's a lot of little things that I need to relearn, like which way I'm supposed to turn, or exactly where my hands are supposed to be. The last lesson of the evening had me struggling the whole way through because I would get started and my brain would go, "NO! Wait, is this right? Are you right? That's not right, is it? Which way to we turn!" My training partner (a very sweet brown belt who is patient and highly complimentary to the newbie) finally made me do it at a faster speed, and my brain didn't have time to object, and I completed the throw just as it should be done. But given the chance to stop and think, I get up inside my head.

Plus, while I can execute a front roll more or less as it should be done, I am doing something mysterious when I try a back roll, and end up facing the wrong way. My sensai is mystified. I am mystified. There is general mystification.

I should probably get myself an aikido icon, shouldn't I?