Mar. 9th, 2010
Incidents, insecurities, indices
Mar. 9th, 2010 09:52 pmAs of today, I've lost 25 pounds. I should be happy about this...well, I am happy. But I'm also struggling with a bit of depression - nothing too serious, but life has been a bit overwhelming recently between work and home and life in general, and I'm letting it affect me. I also was randomly reading the WaPo, and came across a short little article that discussed weight loss and was pretty negative about the possibilities of keeping off lost weight, saying something like 95% of people gain back all lost weight and that perhaps truly losing weight was a matter of drastic measures, like gastric bypass surgery. Now, this article was more along the lines of an opinion piece. I don't know if the stats are right, and I especially don't know if the conclusions drawn have any merit. But I let that little barb of an idea - that the odds of truly changing my life are low, that keeping my weight off (and continuing to lose it until I'm at a healthier weight) is almost impossible - get into my head, where it bounces around at inopportune moments, particularly at night when I'm trying to sleep. Granted, something drastic has happened to me. It's not like I can ever slack off and start eating fast food morning, noon, and night again. Well, I can, but I'd have to stop testing my blood, and Bemo would have to look the other way, which he won't, and my doctor will yell at me. But somehow this stupid little article won't be dislodged. I just have to get past it, which will just take time.
Meanwhile, I'm going to try and just be proud of myself. 25 pounds is no little achievement, and I'm also proud of the gallery guide I've written for my upcoming exhibition (even though it still needs some last minute editing before it goes to the director who will probably practically rewrite it OMG) and there will be what should be a very good conference in Miami Beach at the end of the month that will be a nice change of pace (I haven't seen a beach in...a really, really long time).
Meanwhile, I'm going to try and just be proud of myself. 25 pounds is no little achievement, and I'm also proud of the gallery guide I've written for my upcoming exhibition (even though it still needs some last minute editing before it goes to the director who will probably practically rewrite it OMG) and there will be what should be a very good conference in Miami Beach at the end of the month that will be a nice change of pace (I haven't seen a beach in...a really, really long time).