![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
a terrine of emotion
Oct. 14th, 2009 11:08 pm...in that it's formed of many layers, crammed together into one chunk of something that is not always easily digestible.
The house hunt has hit a snag, and will probably have to be postponed. Right now, we're falling in love with houses at the top of our price range or a little bit beyond it. We could possibly make some compromises, but they all seem to have flaws that are too big to fix without serious work. For example, I adore one little house with a great front porch, adorable back garden, nice rooms...but somebody tried to cram a full suburban kitchen with modern, bog-standard cupboards and countertops into a space meant for a tiny 1930s kitchen, and therefore there is serious doubt that you can get, say, a fridge in to where it needs to be. (I suspect they got the old one out and put up new drywall.) Or there's the slightly shabbier house in the slightly shabbier neighborhood, with the giant living/dining room and the impossible bathroom with the pseudo-claw-foot tub that's about as big enough as your average RV shower stall.
So we're considering postponing everything for six months. Saving up as much "extra" money as possible. Hoping the market doesn't change too much (I've got an email into our realtor to ask if he thinks it will...that suddenly the houses we're loving in the 82-84K range will be in the 90K range, or something like that.)
Needless to say, all of this (plus some family drama) has had me feeling very compressed, very boxed in, very simmering-pot-of-emotion. But all that emotion is sort of sunk down into me, and pops out at weird moments when I'm suddenly angry, or depressed, or teary. But most of the time I'm feeling a little bit blank. I want this house so much, and the idea of deferring it is painful, but I can't ignore the logic behind it. It's more logical to wait. But I can't re-jigger my emotional state that quickly.
The house hunt has hit a snag, and will probably have to be postponed. Right now, we're falling in love with houses at the top of our price range or a little bit beyond it. We could possibly make some compromises, but they all seem to have flaws that are too big to fix without serious work. For example, I adore one little house with a great front porch, adorable back garden, nice rooms...but somebody tried to cram a full suburban kitchen with modern, bog-standard cupboards and countertops into a space meant for a tiny 1930s kitchen, and therefore there is serious doubt that you can get, say, a fridge in to where it needs to be. (I suspect they got the old one out and put up new drywall.) Or there's the slightly shabbier house in the slightly shabbier neighborhood, with the giant living/dining room and the impossible bathroom with the pseudo-claw-foot tub that's about as big enough as your average RV shower stall.
So we're considering postponing everything for six months. Saving up as much "extra" money as possible. Hoping the market doesn't change too much (I've got an email into our realtor to ask if he thinks it will...that suddenly the houses we're loving in the 82-84K range will be in the 90K range, or something like that.)
Needless to say, all of this (plus some family drama) has had me feeling very compressed, very boxed in, very simmering-pot-of-emotion. But all that emotion is sort of sunk down into me, and pops out at weird moments when I'm suddenly angry, or depressed, or teary. But most of the time I'm feeling a little bit blank. I want this house so much, and the idea of deferring it is painful, but I can't ignore the logic behind it. It's more logical to wait. But I can't re-jigger my emotional state that quickly.
